Have A Favourite Joke

1) Q: What's red and sits in the corner?
A: A naughty bus.

Yes, I know it's lame. But that's why it's funny! Just imagine a bus with sad doleful headlamp eyes, sat on a stool in the corner, wearing a dunce cap. See... funny!

My second and third favourites are:

2) Two fish in a tank, one says to the other: "How do you drive this thing?"

and, from the Adam and Joe Show book, an example of a crap Christmas cracker joke:

3) Q: What's the difference between a chicken?
A: One of it's legs is both the same

Design A Cocktail

The L.I. Russian (Lactose Intolerant)
For those with dairy sensitivities, who like White Russians!

1 measure vodka
1 measure Tia Maria or Kahlua
soya milk

Shake ingredients with ice and strain into a cocktail glass.
Sip elegantly through a straw.

Back Flip On A Trampoline

Once we began our GCSEs at school we were allowed greater options in PE, such as bowling, rollerskating, volleyball etc. I took a course in trampolining and by the end was able to do the following moves:

Basic Bounce - Where you face either one of the short ends, square on, jump straight up and down with the legs straight and together, toes pointed, swinging your arms in a backwards circle.
Tuck Jump - A position where the knees are bent and drawn into the chest, with the upper body folded at the waist at angle of greater than 45 degrees from the upper legs.
Pike Jump - A position where the body is bent forward at the hips to 90 degrees or more while the legs are kept straight, with the thighs close to the upper body.
Straddle Jump - A position where the legs are split at least shoulder width apart and the legs are kept straight whilst the upper body is aligned forward at the hips at an angle greater than 45 degrees.
Half Twist Jump - A move whereby a trampolinist rotates 180 degrees around the body's longitudinal axis, finishes facing the opposite end of the trampoline.
Full Twist Jump - A move whereby a trampolinist rotates 360 degrees around the body's longitudinal axis, finishes facing the same end of the trampoline.
Seat Drop - Landing in a sitting down position with the legs pointing straight ahead, and hands beside the hips supporting the back.
Swivel Hips - A move starting on the seat, a half twist in upright position, landing again on seat.
Front Drop - Landing on the stomach, or front, with legs straight and together and hands under chin.
Back Drop - Landing on the back with legs together and arms & legs pointing upward.
Somersault - An acrobatic movement where the body makes a complete revolution, heels over head; also known as a "summy" or a "sault".
Front Somersault - A forward initiated Somersault.
Back Somersault - A backward initiated Somersault.

Act In A Short Film

At university I was a member of the Film Making Society, and during my second year I acted in a short film called "A Short Holiday in Time" directed by my friend Matt Impey. The film was about a man who invents a time machine after his girlfriend dies, so that he can go back in time and meet her earlier, thus spending more time with her. The film was shown at one of our triannual film nights and recived a good audience response.

I have a copy of the video on VHS at my parents' home - I'll try to upload a scan of the cover or some screenshots eventually.

EDIT - I found that two other films I acted in ("Alcohell" and "Sheffielda") are on Youtube.

Alcohell

Sheffielda