Get Cautioned by the Police

When?: This one happened a few years ago, during the summer holiday after my second year at uni.

After a night out on the Jungle Juice in Felixstowe, Charlie, Mark, Jody, Birral and I begin the stomp back to Jody’s house. Mark and Jody have a habit of doing things to the garden in front of a dentist’s surgery in Walton, like covering up the lights illuminating the sign, but on this night they decide to do something nice instead by adding some colourful flora to it. We take a detour to the flowerbeds in front of the leisure centre, where they dig up a few geraniums and carry them in cupped hands all the way to the dentist’s. Once there, the call of nature distracts the boys who scarper off to an alley leaving me and Charlie with the flowers. We decide to begin planting them and have started digging when we hear an engine pull up behind us. Turning round we’re faced with a police van – eek, it looks like we’re being vandals, when really we’re performing a random act of kindness!

The policeman winds down the window:
Policeman - “What are you two doing?”
Us - “Um, we’re, er, planting geraniums. Y’see, their garden looks a bit plain… [rambling drunken explanation attempts are made]…”
P - “Right, well put them down and move along.”
U - “But if we don’t plant them they’ll die!”
P - “Put them down. I’m going to drive round the block and if you’re still here when I come back I’m taking you to the station for a formal caution.”

He drives off and we bolt!

And that is how I came to be cautioned for holding geraniums!